Wednesday, July 18, 2012 @ 1:16 PM with 0 comment(s)
Waiting for lunch so i thought i will blog a bit...Adult life is really boring, can't wait to start studying, then again, its not exactly very fun either. Just feels more like i had something to aim for i guess. Looking through SIM website to find suitable "back-up" course LOL, i sincerely hope i get into the teaching course though, because that's about one of the few things i am interested in right now, i want to start learning a lot of things but everytime i get home from work it's bath, eat, watch tv and sleep. Too freaking tired, that's why i am contemplating on going back to the candle shop, i am sort of on the waiting list now, cos i m still thinking, but i guess i act as a sort of security to my aunt because she will know that if she can't find new staff, there is always me, at least until next year. I think, i sort of felt despair once in a while, seeing everyone going off to school and me just waiting and wilting away, but because teaching is something i am sure of, i can be reassured. However, my ever existing anxiety attacks never subside or go away, instead it grew stronger because i am also worrying about "what if i didn't get shortlisted for the course?" But heaven has it's own plans for me (so i hope its something that i want). All those registration datelines to catch next year, and SIM Psychology BA seems like a pretty good back up plan, followed by LASALLE graphic comm, (that i know i can definitely get in, because i just need to have money and portfolio and it is so much cheaper than SIM), and then SIT visual comm, which i feel i might not have such a good feeling about because its so freaking far. After september, i should be resting for that two weeks and then going off to either take up the candle shop offer or go learn guitar and korean lessons to fill up my time until i register for NIE which is a lot of months away (call out to everyone, i am extremely free to be called out for movies, meet ups or even to hold your glue when you make your models :p )

The big cause behind the anxiety attacks is mainly the fact that i am not exactly doing a very productive job and i will stay that way till september and after september, what will i do? Obviously i will hibernate for awhile, to reset back my body clock. Health hasn't been too good lately either. :( Plus, if i really decided to try office job again (namely pure data entry tqvm), i need to be in the best of health too. Hmm i think i look forward more to the end of the year because family mentioned about going overseas for a holiday, which is daebak because i am home sick, sick of my home. (Y) Doing admin is not exactly bad but because i mainly do things within my scope of work (mainly all the sai gang jobs) and help the higher authorities to wipe their asses after they mess up, it's a little too boring. But the people involved are really jjang because they are so dedicated and so humane in their manners and ways of work that i couldn't help but look up to them. I can't imagine how some of them survive as quite a lot started work right after o lvls and here i am wasting time and money waiting for registration. Nearly all of their youth are spent working to get ends to meet, while we play and breeze along life. But ours are not exactly a breeze either, the design students are the ones that have the right to complain! Complain about workload, not enough sleep, not enough food and most importantly, NO LIFE at all. It's a wonder how me n my fellow course mates manage to survive till graduation. I still deem it to be a great feat that i can graduate let alone get a satisfactory GPA. I am really happy about that and it sort of gives me the assurance that my hard work will pay off, all those extra data i did for research and the super speed daily life that involves speeding up everything including peeing :p
I distinctively remember a day close to submission and i choose to stay at home rather than go to school and consult, i woke up at 10am, and started drawing plans, sections and elevations plus details straight till 10pm at night, i think i forgot to eat lunch too. It was definitely hectic back then but because i am not alone, it makes the experience more fun as we often bitch about how sucky it is to be a design student but all of us still liking design all along. Even if i don't do design in the future, i will still like design because i just like it. I only regret not having the courage to continue on in uni, but i can't take another few years of model making and looking at the models of the LASALLE graduates, it makes me feel that i need to be a robot to make something so perfect :/ (good luck corn omma, u know u will always have us to discuss your ideas with (group chat!) and chunxia to get samples from :D)
On a side note, going to Harry Potter exhibition with the corn and the rag =D like finally heee plus we are having dim sum for lunch ( i think )
Once in a while the despair and anxiety acts up, but end of the day, i always have somewhere to ramble on and awesome people to catch up with so it's all good =) Life will go as it should go and i shall leave everything to fate.
안녕 <3
如果我是一只鸟?
如果我是一只蚊子?
Internet explorer is trying to be a bitch >:(